Flounderlust

Found this on a cafe table out in the windswept prairie that passes for public space here at Century City. It's some woman's ID badge from Sony and on the back, in case you can't read it, it says "If found, please drop badge into any mailbox. Return postage is guaranteed by: [and then the address of Security Operation at Sony Pictures Entertainment].

In the old days you used to get an actual key for your hotel or motel room, I mean the kind of metal key you could put in a lock and turn to get in. And those keys were attached to plastic, sometimes wooden or maybe metal tags with the same instructions.

I especially like the part about "any" mailbox, which seems to imply there's no question of whether it will work in the particular mailbox you choose to drop the key in.

What I want to know is, how does the post office deal with these things? They have keys attached to them, they don't have any stamp to cancel. Could you print that message on anything, say a toaster or a pair of roller skates tied together by their laces, and get the post office to deliver it? If so, that would be pretty impressive and a reason for keeping the USPO in business. What service!